Roll on the 30th of October.....The Scum Thread Pre Match.

[NARLA24]

So we are away against the knuckle draggers on this date. The last time i had the misfortune to visit this shithole was the Liam....Your a sugarbag but i love your knee Ridgewell...Gabby gets the winner and the fans go wild and we are locked in the ground for an hour and a half Game. Oh and the City got torn up on a Sunday afternoon.
Early i know, as we have another good Derby game against Wolves beforehand but lets get this party started cause i am already getting fecking edgy and driving the Mrs barmy. I want to fly back to Brum for this game , if i can get a ticket, no chance she says.
So hi ho hi ho is of to the shite we go.
Thoughts.
Its only nearly 2 months away
Lets hope our league position can give us some bragging rights when we kick off eh.

[Villa_Dan]

I was at the same match. Although I have been since and still got locked in whilst the police dispersed the scumbags

[NARLA24]

I was at the same match. Although I have been since and still got locked in whilst the police dispersed the scumbags

I was right next to the scum shite that day. Bottles and coins coming down from the upper railway end. One young Villa lass got a coin in her eye. Scum feckers they are. UTV

[Trotters]

A bit of banter between me and the missus coming up. No way they'll get any points off us. They came to Villa Park to play THE worst team we've ever put out, who were low on confidence especially at home and put us out of the cup. And they were about the only side apart from Norwich that managed to fuck that up.

3-0 Villa.

[De Kuip]

Got arrested at their place on Boxing day a good few years ago having a bit of a tear up before the match. Got lifted and dragged into the ground and paraded past all the Villa away support to a round of applause, then when I got sat down in the charge room under their main stand - and I swear this is no word of a lie - a sergeant walked in, never spoke a word to me, put on a pair of leather gloves, punched me in the face, and walked out, still without a word said.
So I said to the copper who'd arrested me "You fuckers have made a big mistake - my dad's a top copper at Lloyd house and you are both finished" (My dad really worked at Lucas Aerospace). Anyway, got stuffed into one of those big white meat wagons with cells inside it, and this wasn't even 2pm yet. I was hammered as we'd been on the Stella since breakfast time, so I was bursting for a piss. The guy in charge of the wagon wouldn't let me out, so I had to piss in the wagon and everyone's going mad cos it's flowing under all the other doors. It seemed like there were more noses than Villa in the wagon, so I spent the journey to Steelhouse lane winding them up singing Villa songs. When we get to Steelhouse lane, the coppers made me mop out the wagon, fuckers.
Anyway, we all got chucked into a massive holding cell but no-one seemed to be interested in scrapping, we were all just waiting to be processed and released.
So my turn comes and as I'm walking down the corridor to the charge room from the big holding cell (which stank of chewing gum and disinfectant weirdly I can still remember that smell), I remembered I'd got a couple of "jellies" on me - probably nembutol or some such downer crap - those days are long gone thank McGrath . Anyway, I knew I couldn't sling them in the corridor as I had a copper either side of me, so the only thing I could think of was to stick one in each ear - I kid you not - how that was ever a good idea I do not know. So now I'm in the charge room and they are asking me my full name and address and I keep going "what?" and they are saying to me, "are you fucking deaf?" Anyway, I got through that ordeal and they never noticed the jellies, so when I'm then released I at least get to sling them.
Now, in those days (early 80s) they ran these big kangaroo courts on Mondays after the matches at the Birmingham magistrates court in corporation street, to deal with all the hoolies, and there were some proper scary fines and custodials being handed out, courtesy of Maggie Thatcher (spit), so I'm thinking I'm done for. I didn't have any previous that would have mattered - a couple of cautions as a kid, nothing major, but the two or three blokes that went in front of me (oh, I should have mentioned, they just lumped a load of defendants into a few rows of seats, so you got to see everyone else getting fined/sent down) got serious fines, I'm talking one, two grand fines. Someone got sent down as well, so I'm thinking, "my job's gone if I go down, I'm in real shit here".
So I stand in front of the bench, and the magistrates hear the arresting officer's report (obviously no mention of me getting punched!) and read what they'd written I'd said to them when nicked at St Andrex. So the chief magistrate leans forward and asks me if I still live at home (I said I did even though I didn't cos I thought it would sound more respectable) and then he says "I bet it's really difficult at home at the moment, are you getting severely dealt with by your father? I bet he is most disappointed in you, bringing shame on him as a senior officer in the force?"
So these daft coppers have taken down what I've said to them after I got punched, but related it to me just getting nicked. No-one bothered to check the truth of my bullshit story, so here I am pretending in front of a full court that my home life is hell cos my senior officer father is crucifying me at home.
So after a short consultation with his fellow magistrates and a slightly sympathetic look in my direction, he fined me £30 with £10 costs for drunk and disorderly rather than affray!
I couldn't believe it and nor could a few of those still waiting to be judged - I could hear a couple of voices behind me saying "Fucking wanker" etc. so when I got outside the court I sprinted like fuck down Corporation street to get a bus home in case anyone wanted to smash up a copper's kid.
I still laugh at that episode, where my absolute bullshit got me a peanuts fine when it should have been more like £500 quid.
Happy days haha.

[Guest]

That's a top story.

[Trotters]

Brilliant. But you're going to have to explain the jelly bit to me as I have an image of a cop bringing you this and you're stuffing it in your ears....

[Trotters]

A couple of "bloggers" did a piece each in the Mail about "49 ways you know you're a Villa/Blues fan".

Theirs is filled with references to Villa, games that they managed to draw and the Leyland DAF trophy.

Ours:

http://www.birminghammail.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/aston-villa-49-ways-you-10089021


Theirs:
http://www.birminghammail.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/birmingham-city-49-ways-you-10063133

[Villa Ranger]

Haha, fookin great story DK.

[De Kuip]

Couldn't bear to read the scum ones but the villa list was great.
Jellies: Never bothered with the them other than the once but my mate was like a walking pharmacy in those days and used to keep giving me stuff that I usually flung away. Jellies or "nembies" that were around then were I guess the forerunner of ketamine in that they were animal tranquilisers (Nembutol) that came in a grey blue squishy capsule hence "jellies". I tried one once and thought "if I'm gonna take something to alter my state I want something to speed me up not slow me down - the last thing I need help with is being a lazy fucker". So I never bothered again. TBH I've always preferred a pint of ale but I left home at 15 and a half so was often around those kind of characters and their apothecary pockets.

[Villa_Dan]

Thats a belting story DK. Closest I've come to being lifted at the Shed was for kicking the exhaust off a polie van as bottles etc were raining over the fence as the cops were sat inside doing sweet FA! They started giving me the once over then the gates opened and everyone started tearing out so they left me to it

[avfc forever]

Good story De Kuip.

[DelboyVilla]

this is my current favorite thread!

Brilliant stuff from DK taking the time to type that out!

That Mail article is good for them (I too only read the Villa one )

[VTID85]

Love that story DK, always good to read about getting one over on the Scum and the pigs!

[Sponsored content]