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Newcastle v Villa pre/post match thread

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Your predictions please

29% 29% 
[ 4 ]
21% 21% 
[ 3 ]
21% 21% 
[ 3 ]
14% 14% 
[ 2 ]
14% 14% 
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Total Votes : 14

Newcastle v Villa pre/post match thread

Post by Trotters on Wed Feb 15, 2017 3:55 am

Right, sod real life....how about, for a laugh, we make it a guaranteed win by just making shit up when the ref blows for kick off. Ignore what's really happening at St.James' and just post that we're scoring and properly taking them to the cleaners?

I've just completely lost hope with Bruce so I see no point in chatting about how fucking miserable this is going to be.

Poll added. Laughing
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Re: Newcastle v Villa pre/post match thread

Post by Boldfinger on Wed Feb 15, 2017 8:09 am

Bloody 'el mate, can't think about this yet, still on the floor after last nights garbage. Quick guess 7-0 loss
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Re: Newcastle v Villa pre/post match thread

Post by DelboyVilla on Wed Feb 15, 2017 9:02 am

I went for the cricket score but I think I maybe only half right and the cricket score will inflicted on us not the other way round? However I applaud you @Trotters for trying to inject a bit of fun into an otherwise depressing period!

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Re: Newcastle v Villa pre/post match thread

Post by DelboyVilla on Wed Feb 15, 2017 9:13 am

Shite it's on Sky as well!!!!!

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Re: Newcastle v Villa pre/post match thread

Post by The Utterer on Wed Feb 15, 2017 9:21 am

Weirdly i actually think this could be the game which turns everything around.

Newcastle will be out to humiliate us no doubt especially their fans but this could actually backfire on them i feel.

If our players have a shred of self respect then they will see this as a chance to give a bit back to us and i would hope SB makes that clear to them.

Best way to break a slump? Beat the top team on their own patch!

It's not guaranteed of course but i just have an inkling something unexpected could happen.

So ......

2-3 win
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Re: Newcastle v Villa pre/post match thread

Post by 4BetLite on Wed Feb 15, 2017 9:27 am

Johnstone's reaction times are in slow motion, if he starts we will concede, so we must score, we must then go balls out full slaughter mode, very very offensive and play as high up as fuck, confuse the fuck out of them...........
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Re: Newcastle v Villa pre/post match thread

Post by achilles on Wed Feb 15, 2017 12:42 pm

Gone for cricket score (but the other way around)!

Absolutely no chance but having said that what have we to lose everybody but everybody expects us to lose so stranger things have happened (although this is Villa we are talking about here)!
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Re: Newcastle v Villa pre/post match thread

Post by Villa_Dan on Wed Feb 15, 2017 12:57 pm

Weren't Newcastle the only team to fail to beat us at all last season? Come on the repeat!
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Re: Newcastle v Villa pre/post match thread

Post by Joppe84 on Wed Feb 15, 2017 2:25 pm

Please stop having polls in match threads
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Re: Newcastle v Villa pre/post match thread

Post by NARLA24 on Wed Feb 15, 2017 2:34 pm

Thats more like it for me. We are going to win because it is on Sky and we always win when we are on the tellygoggleboxmcthingy!!!!!! Beer Beer
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Re: Newcastle v Villa pre/post match thread

Post by De Kuip on Wed Feb 15, 2017 5:18 pm

Ding dong:
This is a passenger announcement.
The Aston Villa Express to Newcastle St James Park@Sportsdirectsweatshopcheapshit is due to cleave from platform 1, calling at despair, disillusionment, panic, cock up Parkway and cock up central.
Will all passengers (that'll be you 11 in claret and blue) please mind the gap (currently about 19 points).
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Re: Newcastle v Villa pre/post match thread

Post by achilles on Wed Feb 15, 2017 5:21 pm

De Kuip wrote:Ding dong:
This is a passenger announcement.
The Aston Villa Express to Newcastle St James Park@Sportsdirectsweatshopcheapshit is due to cleave from platform 1, calling at despair, disillusionment, panic, cock up Parkway and cock up central.
Will all passengers (that'll be you 11 in claret and blue) please mind the gap (currently about 19 points).

Very good! lol!
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Re: Newcastle v Villa pre/post match thread

Post by 4BetLite on Wed Feb 15, 2017 5:29 pm

De Kuip wrote:Ding dong:
This is a passenger announcement.
The Aston Villa Express to Newcastle St James Park@Sportsdirectsweatshopcheapshit is due to cleave from platform 1, calling at despair, disillusionment, panic, cock up Parkway and cock up central.
Will all passengers (that'll be you 11 in claret and blue) please mind the gap (currently about 19 points).

Genius
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Re: Newcastle v Villa pre/post match thread

Post by Saunders82 on Wed Feb 15, 2017 8:25 pm

I have this feeling in my water, we have been so crap against so so teams that we will give the barcodes a good thrashing, totally out of the blue. I know I should keep my eyes open for the men in white coats, but I just can't help it, we shall see. lol! lol! lol!
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Re: Newcastle v Villa pre/post match thread

Post by andrew24561 on Wed Feb 15, 2017 11:14 pm

I think we will win 11-0 with the pick of the goals being the ninth and completing Keiron Clarks double hatrick after side stepping 3 barcodes and chipping the advancing keeper before running down the touchline flicking the v's at the Spanish waiter before being unfairly substituted and roundly booed by a partisan crowd of Geordie halfwits
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Re: Newcastle v Villa pre/post match thread

Post by Trotters on Thu Feb 16, 2017 3:54 am

Joppe84 wrote:Please stop having polls in match threads

You think this is the reason we're getting smashed off the park each week?
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Re: Newcastle v Villa pre/post match thread

Post by Joppe84 on Thu Feb 16, 2017 6:36 am

Trotters wrote:
Joppe84 wrote:Please stop having polls in match threads

You think this is the reason we're getting smashed off the park each week?

Well that, and the fact that it takes eons to scroll through the thread on match days.
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Re: Newcastle v Villa pre/post match thread

Post by mefromhere on Thu Feb 16, 2017 11:55 am

It's all been an incredibly elaborate double bluff by Bruce and we're going to come out on the front and play them off the park for a 5-0 win.












It is Gateshead we're playing isn't it?
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Re: Newcastle v Villa pre/post match thread

Post by avfc forever on Thu Feb 16, 2017 1:29 pm

Can't see anything but a barcodes win 3-0 to them.
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Re: Newcastle v Villa pre/post match thread

Post by De Kuip on Thu Feb 16, 2017 4:56 pm

I'm really looking forward to this game.

Only because I'm already laughing about the mass of abstract bollocks that we'll be writing on the made up match report. We need to do it in live text update style. I can't wait to create an enjoyable alternative to the entirely forecastable and miserable reality that will actually take place.
Can't wait to report on the 17th minute substitution with McGrath coming onto the field of play dressed as a Thames barge riding a pink spacehopper whilst banging a mackerel against the side of his head repeatedly and shouting "Gladys those fucking termites are in the coal scuttle again", then bouncing up the pitch, headbutting Clarke and smashing the ball into the back of the net.
Yep, I'm warming up already.....
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Re: Newcastle v Villa pre/post match thread

Post by Trotters on Thu Feb 16, 2017 8:16 pm

lol!
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Re: Newcastle v Villa pre/post match thread

Post by Dazzle on Thu Feb 16, 2017 8:17 pm

This'll be a Newcastle win, quite easily. 5-1.
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Re: Newcastle v Villa pre/post match thread

Post by VTID85 on Thu Feb 16, 2017 8:44 pm

7-1 to the Villa.





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Re: Newcastle v Villa pre/post match thread

Post by NARLA24 on Fri Feb 17, 2017 9:23 am

Villa win for me, just because everyone is expecting us to get smashed out of sight. We will turn this lot over and then go on a massive winning streak for the rest of the season.
White coat is ready and waiting and i can hear the sirens allready.
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Re: Newcastle v Villa pre/post match thread

Post by Trotters on Fri Feb 17, 2017 9:44 am

Someone's been in the pool bar Laughing
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